Christmas Beyond Christmas Read online

  I kept my expression neutral, swallowing a sigh, as he gave me a wave before turning and walking over to the bag he’d left on the ground. His ass was a thing of beauty encased in the marines uniform. My tongue glued itself to the roof of my mouth as his ass flexed and I had to look away.

  “What’s wrong, Daddy?” Willow squeezed my hand, drawing my gaze towards her.

  “Nothing, baby girl. Daddy just needs to get out of the heat,” I offered, hoping it would explain why I looked so hot and bothered.

  I was happy for the distraction as Willow pulled me into my childhood home, a place where I’d found nothing but acceptance and love. Something I was doing my best to ensure my daughter also felt every day. It was getting harder and harder though, what with her understanding of the world growing and her constant questions about why she didn’t have a Mommy like the other children at preschool did.

  How were you supposed to explain to a four-year-old that her Mommy didn’t want her? That she was a drunken mistake made on a night that had meant nothing to either Kerry or myself. I’d known Kerry well enough to say “hi” to, but that was about it. Her father was well known in these parts with a big stud ranch in the neighboring town of Potters Creek.

  Feeling sorry for myself after a recent break-up with my boyfriend, I’d gone out and got drunk in one of the local bars and Kerry had come over to chat. We’d somehow ended up doing shots, and the next thing I knew I’d woken up in the back of my truck with a raging hangover and a semi-naked Kerry asleep next to me. Unable to fathom how the hell I’d got a hard-on for a girl, I’d just assumed that I hadn’t.

  That hadn’t lasted long though, only until she’d come knocking on my parents’ door. That one night had altered everything, but as I looked down at Willow’s expectant face I couldn’t find a damn thing I’d change about it. Immeasurable love swelled inside me, the same way it always did when I looked at what the world had blessed me with.

  “Daddy, why’s ya looking at me funny?” She rubbed at her face. “Is I’s dirty?” Her tiny brow wrinkled as she tried to look at her nose.

  “Aren’t you always dirty?” I asked, my brows rising as she gave me a bright smile that could compete with the sun.

  “Oh Daddy, Gramps says I’s allowed to be dirty.”

  I flicked my finger down her nose. “Well who am I to argue with your Gramps? Let’s go eat and then you can sit with me and read me a story.”

  She giggled and bounced on the spot, her curls bobbing around her cheeks. “I’s love readin’.”

  I’d had so little time back when she was a baby to bury my head in books like I loved to do. So I’d used our nightly routine of feeding, diaper changes, or just soothing her when she was upset by something, to tell her stories based on what we were doing. It had turned into a ritual we’d never broken and it had led to a new career.

  After hearing me recite some of the stories, my parents had encouraged me to write them down. All of my children’s books were inspired by the trials and tribulations of being a hapless parent. They paid the bills and they made my baby girl happy. What more could I want?

  A hunky guy who looks great in khaki?

  Keep dreaming!

  Will

  Water cascaded down my body and I groaned loudly, enjoying the feel of the warmth seeping into my weary bones. The walk-in shower was so luxurious in comparison to what I’d endured during the past years that I’d almost cried when I’d seen the new addition to the refurbished bathroom.

  Neil had moved into the house after my parents had decided to buy an RV and go off to explore the country. With me away, they’d needed someone to look after the place and Neil had volunteered, wanting to get out of what he’d described as an overcrowded house. At the time, I’d laughed it off, thinking he’d just wanted the place to himself, given that I knew his two older brothers had long since moved out. One had a job in New York, the other was working on a ranch in a neighboring town.

  That had left Tiny… and Willow. My hands stilled, the soap on them washing away. Why hadn’t Neil said anything about his niece? It wasn’t like him to keep secrets from me. Our friendship was solid and, as far as I was aware, we shared everything. So why keep silent about this? Was he embarrassed?

  I shook off the thought, knowing damn well there was very little that embarrassed my best friend. The antics we’d got up to as teenagers had had both our sets of parents pulling their hair out.

  I chuckled at the memories of my mom threatening to ban Neil from the house. As an only child, my mom had encouraged me to bring friends home. But then, as I’d got bigger and got myself into more scrapes, she’d often said she must have lost her mind for telling me to make friends with the boy next door. They were good memories, and right now I needed good after the bad of the last few years.

  My heart shuddered in my chest, images of men, women and children blown to pieces by a war they hadn’t chosen flooding my brain. I sucked in a breath and held it for a moment before letting it go.

  My fingers trembled as I continued to wash myself, the joy gone. “Hey dickweed, get out of the shower and stop stealin’ all the hot water,” Neil shouted from somewhere below.

  The shout brought a wry smile to my face. “Yeah, is that right? Isn’t this my home asshole?” I bellowed back before reaching to turn off the shower. I stood for a second and let the water sluice down my body before stepping out. Neil strolled into the bathroom with a shit-eating grin on his face before I could grab a towel. “I’m naked here! You do see that, right?” I growled, reaching for the big, fluffy towel I’d placed on the side of the bath earlier.

  “So?” His shoulders rose, the gaze moving over my body twinkling with mischief. “It’s not like you’ve got anything I haven’t seen before. And we both know my dick is bigger than yours.” His voice was full of laughter.

  “Fuck off!” My cheeks flamed at the memory of us getting our dicks hard and using a ruler to compare. This man could get me to do anything he wanted when he put his mind to it.

  “What! It’s true. A ruler doesn’t lie.” He chortled and ignored the middle finger gesture I threw in his direction as he sat himself on the edge of the bath.

  His long, rangy body was much the same as it had been when he was a teenager. He was a few inches shorter than me, but we shared similar dark good looks. Hell, we’d often been mistaken for brothers when folks first met us, probably because we’d lived in each other’s pockets and it had been hard to separate us.

  I gave him a long searching stare, the warmth of a friendship which had never waned despite the distance between us, rising up. I coughed and used the towel as a distraction to dry myself. “You’ve got some new grey hairs and extra lines around your eyes and mouth. I take it you haven’t been visiting the beauty parlor of late?” I asked, my tongue firmly in my cheek. I hadn’t even finished talking before he’d stood and hotfooted it over to the mirror above the sink, wiping away the steam so he could see. I pointed at him while laughing. “You are too easy. You and your beauty products. Don’t think I didn’t see them in the cabinet there.”

  He swung around with his hands on his hips. The grubby shorts he wore hung low on his lean frame and I feared they’d be on the floor if he wasn’t careful. His dark eyes narrowed on me. “Let’s see how many wrinkles you’ve gotten beneath that scruff on your face once you’ve shaved. I know damn well it’ll be more than me.”

  I was barely able to contain my laughter, my lips pursing with the effort of not showing him how much he amused me. Over the years, I’d learnt just how serious he was about taking care of himself. He had more beauty products than were sold locally.

  I kind of got it, but as best friends it was my job to rib him about it any chance I got.

  “I think you need to consider how many men you’ve dated over the years, versus how many I have.” He smirked at me thinking he’d got one over on me. Given we were both gay, we’d competed a time or two for the few single gay men present in these parts before I’d left to go i
nto the marines. As far as I could remember, we’d been on an equal footing, but seven years of living with homophobic assholes had ensured my dating was either kept on the downlow or non-existent.

  Who wanted to date a guy who spent most of his time away doing stuff that meant he might come back in a wooden box? Not many, that was for sure.

  Whatever Neil saw on my face prompted him to rest his hands on my shoulders. “Hey, I was only joking… okay, maybe I wasn’t, but you know me.” He gave me a little shake before pulling me in for a hug.

  “Seriously, if you’re tryin’ to hit on me, you’re out luck, you ain’t my type.” His arms tightened and I sighed, letting go of the towel and wrapping my arms around him. The familiar scent of his aftershave and the feel of his embrace made it difficult to swallow.

  “It’s good to have you home. I missed ya.” His voice sounded thick with emotion and I patted him on the back before releasing him.

  “Let me get dressed and then we can grab a beer and you can catch me up… on everything.”

  His gaze met mine, his tanned cheeks gaining a rosy glow to them. “Yeah, cool. Get dressed and I’ll meet you downstairs,” he mumbled, sounding somewhat reluctant, the questions I had from earlier leaving an uneasy feeling in my gut. What was going on between Tiny and Neil?

  There was no chance to question him further though as he hastily left the room with his back rigid. Something was off, but what?

  I’d never met a more close-knit family than the Byers. They were traditional, meaning family came first, last and everything in between. So what had changed?

  You ain’t gonna find the answer in the bathroom!

  Grumbling to myself, I went into my childhood bedroom to dress. Once I was wearing a pair of old shorts and a T-shirt which had seen better days but was a part of my youth I couldn’t part with, I strolled barefoot into the kitchen. The back door was open and a soft, warm breeze blew in. I smiled at the scent of flowers perfuming the kitchen. That had to be Neil’s influence: both my parents had a black thumb.

  Neil had managed to turn his love of the outdoors into a career where his creative side and love of nature were well-matched. His landscaping business had him travelling to neighboring towns. Five years ago when I’d been home for a few weeks, I’d filled in for a member of his crew who’d broken their arm and discovered a new found respect for Neil. The work had been back-breaking. After spending several hours digging stone out of ground harder than concrete, I’d hardly been capable of standing up straight. I hadn’t been stupid enough to offer again, not that I’d been home for the last four years. It would seem that a lot had changed in that time.

  I grabbed a beer out of the fridge and walked out onto the back porch. A smile spread across my face at the sight of the large hammock calling for me to climb in and relax. I scanned the garden, my smile starting to make the muscles of my face ache. “You’re a fucking genius! My parents are gonna have a cow when they see this. You’ve really outdone yourself, Neil.”

  I was silent as I took it all in. The flower beds in the shade of the porch offered an abundance of scents and color to what had been a barren garden when I’d left for the marines. A manicured lawn led down to a rockery and there was a small pond surrounded by yet more flowers. They were obviously pretty hardy, the direct sunlight not making them wilt under its fierce glare. A table and padded chairs sat on wooden decking just off to the left, sheltered by the house. The bright cushions had me glancing back at Neil, who wore an expression which I struggled to read.

  “Who picked the cushions for the seats?” I asked quietly, my fingers tightening around the cold beer bottle.

  “Willow… my niece.” His eyes clouded over with something that made my gut clench. It quickly disappeared though, and he gave me a smile which didn’t reach his eyes. “Tiny got a girl pregnant accidentally and... she… didn’t want a baby.” He spat out the last part, his face darkening with anger.

  I walked back over to the bench he was sitting on and sat myself next to him, the wood groaning for a second. I tapped his knee. “Talk to me.”

  Greg

  Any hope of things going back to normal after seeing Will had quickly fallen by the wayside. Willow had made it her mission to be Will’s friend whether he wanted it or not. She was tenacious and when I’d turned my back for two minutes, had cut through the hedge again and into the garden next door even after I’d explicitly told her not to.

  What was I going to do with her?

  The sigh became stuck in my throat as her voice carried over. “Lift me up and sway me.” There were some creaking sounds followed by several giggles.

  I stood rooted to the spot, straining to hear Will’s deep, baritone voice as he spoke. Whatever he’d said had caused my daughter to chatter like a magpie, Will not getting a chance to say anything more. I struggled to follow what she was saying as she became more and more enthusiastic.

  I peeked out of the door, a smile spreading across my face at the sight of Willow sitting on Will’s broad chest. One long leg kept the hammock they were in, moving in a lazy swaying motion. I couldn’t see his face, but the grin on my daughter’s made my heart swell.

  On the three occasions I’d gone over to rescue him from her constant barrage of “why” questions over the past week, he’d never shown any impatience towards her. If anything, he seemed to enjoy her company. And if I was a little green with envy at her getting all his attention, then nobody needed to know.

  I huffed and raked my fingers through my hair. This last week had been hell. I’d blamed the hot, summer weather for struggling to sleep. It had to be. It couldn’t be anything to do with how much time I found myself staring out of the window at Will as he gardened or lay stretched out on the hammock, just swaying, his gorgeous body displayed in nothing but a pair of shorts.

  The dark hair on his chest looked like it would be soft and silky to the touch. My fingers curled into my palms, tingling with the need to touch it.

  Jeez, get a grip.

  The thought carried me out the door, down the back steps of the porch and across to the small gap in the bushes created by both Neil and Will having using it as a shortcut for years.

  After Neil had moved into Will’s parents’ home once they’d gone travelling, he’d landscaped the garden and I’d assumed—wrongly—that he’d plant a new bush to fill the gap. When I’d questioned why he hadn’t, his response of “there are too many memories in that gap,” had me seeing it through new eyes.

  Now, with my daughter using it to travel backwards and forwards to see Uncle Neil and now Will, I was pleased he’d left it so she could create new memories.

  “Daddy, Daddy do ya see? I’s swingin with Will,” she called, wriggling her tiny body and making me cringe as her foot stomped on Will’s stomach. I knew all too well what damage a wriggling child could do to an unsuspecting person.

  “Be careful, baby girl,” I replied, increasing my pace and preparing to pluck her from Will’s chest. But before I could reach her, Will had lifted her effortlessly, dangling her over his body. Her giggles increased as he maneuvered her into a position that mimicked her flying over the top of him. Her blonde curls gleamed golden in the sunlight and her eyes were bright with excitement.

  The air became trapped in my lungs as my gaze moved to meet Will’s. His eyes were gleaming with a joy I’d often witnessed when he messed about with my brothers. It had disappeared though when he’d left to go into the forces. A part of me rejoiced at the fact that my baby had given him some joy, but another part wanted desperately to be the one to put the smile on his face.

  The years he’d hung around our home had been both a personal hell and a dream come true whenever he’d focused those dark eyes on me. He’d lavished me with attention while also ribbing me for being so different from my big, brawny brothers. I’d secretly hoped that when he’d come out as gay, but shown no interest in Neil, that maybe it was because he preferred small blonds.

  As if!

  I mentally slappe
d myself as I tried not to think about how much I’d missed him. It was as if a part of my heart had gone with him when he’d left. It had taken a while to shove my childish dreams aside and step into the dating pool. Although, that hadn’t been all that successful, not once Neil had pointed out that the guys I tended to pick all resembled Will.

  In a moment of weakness, I’d confessed my childhood crush on Will to him.

  Neil had been sceptical about me being over my crush. The discussion had resulted in a fight, with Neil warning me that Will was married to the forces and wouldn’t be a good fit.

  Hurt still lingering from Neil’s remarks, I’d kept my distance whenever Will came home, though that had been easier over the last four years, his parents visiting him rather than the other way round. Now he was back and Neil was tight-lipped about both the reason and the duration. He kept brushing me off with non-answers which left me frustrated and feeling out of sorts.

  When Will’s brow drew together and he looked perplexed, I realized I was still staring at him like a complete moron. I swallowed a sigh even as my face heated and betrayed me.

  Willow giggled, her arms flapping about wildly, breaking the tension I could feel building between us.

  “Daddy, ya wanna fly withs Will. He’s big. He’s hold ya.”

  The bloom of heat increased as I glanced from Willow and then back to Will. My mouth dried up at the light in his eyes. I took a step back as he lowered Willow to the ground before shifting himself effortlessly off the hammock to a standing position. My back hit the railing as I shook my head. Willow danced on the spot and clapped her hands as I held mine out in front of me, trying to ward Will off. It was all to no avail as his warm hands took hold of my body beneath my armpits. Where had all the air gone?

  Whatever words of protest I’d been about to utter, fled as his scent filled my nose. A giddy feeling swept through me at the feel of his hands tightening on my body. His arms flexed and a wolfish smile spread across his face. That was the only warning I got before I found myself dangling in mid-air. Jeez, he lifted me as if I weighed no more than Willow.